I couldn’t go to Florida with my friend last week for a girl’s trip. I was really bummed about that and needed some time for myself, so I planned a weekend for myself at my parents’ cabin. I took the day off Friday and scheduled a massage. I slept in and got breakfast with Jim, just the two of us. Then I went to my relaxing, full body massage. It was heaven. I figured I would go all out and really treat myself. I ordered Cheesecake factory to grab on my way out of town and headed for the cabin. I had brought all of the needed items to pamper myself: pedicure supplies, face masks, foot scrubs and under eye cooling patches. I bought celebrity rag mags and a new trashy romance novel. I even brought my tablet so I could watch an adult movie with no signing characters or animated princesses. Two nights plus no kids equals one refreshed mama.
I made it to the cabin and started my relaxing weekend with a hot shower where no one came in and asked me questions or for snacks. I then settled in with my cheesecake and watched a movie in the glorious silence of the woods. About 10pm I decided to turn in for a long, restful sleep listening to the raindrops on the roof. I cozied up in my bed and drifted off. At 11:30pm, I was awaken by my phone tearing through the silence. It was Jim, Cora was throwing up blood and I needed to get home ASAP. So in the darkest black of night, I loaded my car back up in the pouring rain and started my journey home after only mere hours of cabin bliss.
As I was driving through the rain heading home towards my sick baby, I couldn’t help but think another “me time” had slipped through my fingers. I arrived home at 12:30am and held my poor baby girl. It was a rough night and an early morning with daddy at the doctor’s. Cora had hand, foot and mouth disease and there were lesions in her throat bleeding and causing her irritation in her belly and massive amounts of throw up. The poor darling.
I spent a lot of Saturday sleeping, I was really tired from the activities from the previous night and I think a bit depressed about the way the weekend turned out. Jim let me sleep because I think he felt bad for having to call me home and ending my “me time” weekend early. I don’t blame him; Cora was sick and it was the right decision to come home. But I couldn’t help feeling sorry for myself. I couldn’t get any time away for myself. It got me thinking, maybe I wasn’t supposed to prioritize myself. Maybe once your a mom you don’t get “me time”.
I started to think back on my childhood. I don’t remember my parents getting any time to themselves. They very rarely went on dates and definitely did not take trips together without me and my brother. When did they get time to themselves? I started to feel like maybe I wasn’t doing this parenting thing right. Maybe I was a wimpy mom. Why did I need time away? I received this paint by number project for Christmas last year. This one has 18 different colors that make up a picture. It has been almost a year and I have done 6 of the colors. I take that back 5 of the colors because one dried out. At this rate it will take me almost 3 years to paint this picture and I’ll be missing a color. Quiet. I never hear quiet. The cabin was quiet. The silence almost deafening. At home, someone is always calling for me. It’s nice sometimes to just hear myself think. I get to work early so I can sit in silence by myself. Also touching. My children touch me so much its like I get overloaded and can’t take in any more touches. I need time away for silence and solitude and to do my paint by numbers.
I guess you could ask when do you write your blog if you don’t have any time. Right now I am writing in my bed with Charlie’s foot in my face and he keeps saying “play with me!” I just got Cora to sleep and I have about 10 more minutes before my Melatonin kicks in. I squeeze it in where I can. So what are your thoughts? Should parents get “me time” or should we just suck it up? What is your go to “me time” activity?